Trying to Work with Others
This can sometimes be easier said than done. Okay, I do have some news to tell - I sprained my freakin foot. I have never done this before and am on the mend. I have been singing backstage and sitting on my butt. It sucks ass. Sorry, I did swear, but in this situation, cussing is highly appropriate. It happened from a lift where I was not supported on my way down and my feet took it. No one’s fault. It happens. Seriously. I love and trust my dance partner and I blame myself for not communicating like I should. I get into this world of people pleasing and I fear that I may offend my dance partner if I speak up too much. Then I could turn into this “complainer or nag” and I don’t want to be like that. What I did not realize is that I could actually get injured from it. I have never had a sprain before so this is all new to me. I have crutches and am bracing my foot. Drugs and icing is on my “to do” list.
Well, then comes my fear of annoying the cast. I am trying my best to do my job. I have seen people who are unable to do the show, sit backstage and sleep. I don’t want to be that person. I am there to do my job to the best of my ability. A coworker/quasi-friend was kind enough to bring it to my attention what I should watch out for when I am unable to do the show. He knows I like to be told what to do because I am not a mind reader and I can “take the note.” I like to understand where others are coming from so I can respect them. If I am in the way cause I normally don’t stand there, please tell me. 
So, I made it a point to start going around to people and asking if there is anything that is bugging them that I can change. Some have had some great requests on certain sections of the show where I need to be out of the way and I am grateful for the knowledge. Some say I have nothing to worry about and I am fine. One, who happens to be a good friend, told me “F*@k anyone who has a problem. That is their lack of professionalism cause you are doing the best you can and have nothing to apologize about.” I had one response from a certain individual who said, “I don’t want to talk about it.” This totally got me worried and I didn’t know what to do except try to learn more. I thought he was mad at me. But for this individual, he didn’t like the question because if he had a real problem, he would tell me. His demeanor was not workable for me, but that’s what he chose to present in my efforts and I have accept that … Then, last of all, there are the people I just know I don’t want to talk to because I doubt they will be very approachable. In other words, I can imagine them wanting to “cut my head off” and “rip me a new one” just because they have silently fed off a resentment in my direction because they see me sitting on my butt throughout the show. There’s nothing I can do about it. I know this, but when it comes to working with a cast, it can be an interesting situation.
In the end, I know I am just injured and I have to give the course of my healing to G-d. I may cry a bit in the process because I do feel alone - being I am the only one who is unable to even be on stage and in the show right now. When this heals, I will be grateful to be back out on that stage again. I miss my love, the stage.
