Always Auditioning

Health insurance for a performer is a major pain. Especially as a dancer or a singer. We need to see people who truly specialize in the voice when seeing an ENT. This means we can’t see just any ‘ol ENT. I have had the experience of going to crappy ENTs and then going to the top. It makes such a difference. Why? Because you get better. It really is that simple. Since going to a fantastic ENT, my voice has strengthened so much. I am more knowledgeable about vocal health. It’s the same thing for a dancer. You can’t see a doctor who hasn’t put in the hours to study the extra work a dancer does. We do some things with our bodies that we are not meant to do. But we keep doing it cause it is what we love. Only the top physical therapists and trainers who have done in-depth study of dance, can fully understand how to properly diagnose a dancer. It sounds obvious, but so many of us can’t afford these people. We have to go the people covered by our health insurance or ones we can afford. Yes, I am talking about the crappy doctors. They just don’t care about what they do, quickly diagnose, and get us out of their office as fast as possible. I am still on the search for a solution for this huge problem and I believe I will find it … and when I do … I will be sure to share it with you.

Yes, when you get to New York or LA, you need to find a way to earn money. I get it. I have to the same thing. That does not mean you have to torture yourself with a job that makes you miserable. You may go into a waitressing job and think you’ll be fine with it, only to discover your boss is a pig. Quit. You could try temp work and feel like your life is being wasted away. Quit. Or, you could try putting yourself behind the bar to get the extra tips, only to discover the hours go too late and you find it impossible to wake up for auditions. Quit. Yes, I do believe in quitting. Don’t quit the jobs you love, aka performing stuff, but when it is out the field and your situation messes with your happiness, quit. Seriously. Life is too short and you are not in this business for the money. Oh, man, if you are in it for fame and fortune, you have chosen the wrong business. You could get to the top, but really? Do it for the money? There are so many people out there who are doing it for the love of it - don’t get in their way. I’m all for the love of the job. So, keep in mind, when you are going out on a job hunt and find yourself forgetting about your main focus - the stage, quit. You don’t have any time for distractions. You can get another job.

As you saw, with all the goals on my list, I have a lot to do. It is easy for me to want to overwhelm myself at the beginning of the year to just reach the goal right away. I have already gone there and it was too much. I planned too many of these “to dos” in a single day. In the past, I would have beaten myself up and eventually laid off the goal completely. Now, I have to put things in an order of importance. I evaluate where I am at the time. Sometimes I am in New York and I have access to many things. Right now, I am in California and I have more time on my hands. This is a perfect time to get that busy work done - AKA my book. Writing up all the interviews I have done takes time. I enjoy doing it, but like I said, it takes time. It estimates at about 2 hours per interview. I thought this would be far from fun, but on the contrary, it is fun. I love hearing the interviews again. They inspire me. Nothing like some inspiration gained from writing a book. It is a blessing.
So, now I am focusing on pacing myself. I have to remember that I am on a “vacation” as well and I have to give myself time for the fun. I came here thinking all I wanted to do was work until I started seeing some of my great friends and spending time with my wonderful family. I want and deserve the time with them.
I won’t save the world in a day, but I can take a step or so, and enjoy myself while I do it.

It is hard to stay on top of things when you are traveling so much. So, if you are a working performer, don’t beat yourself up when you get behind on your “to dos.” Simultaneously, don’t use it as an excuse to be extra lazy.
After a gig, many performers come home and do mostly nothing. They won’t try to get a job and will automatically use the unemployment option. This is usually because they already have work in their future and they don’t want to waste their time working … especially since they know they will be traveling again. Don’t get too comfortable because it is temporary - that’s the idea. I don’t agree with this at all. Unemployment is out there for a reason - it’s when you get in a real jam and have to get some sort of income somehow. If you use unemployment regularly, you will find yourself unable to use it for long periods of time after awhile. So, what if you really do get in a financial jam? This would be a nightmare! … and all your unemployment rights have been used up? This is a very dangerous possibility.
So, when you are traveling from one place to another, do what you have to do to be not only a responsible performer, but a responsible adult. Get a flexible job. You don’t have to love it, and if anything, remember that it is only temporary. Nevertheless, get a job. Don’t use all your travels as an excuse.

I have been running around like a madwoman to get things done. It is insane! On top of all of it, it was freezing outside. Plenty to do on a freakin cold day. Now, actors, don’t let the craziness of New York stop you from doing any work at all. You have to go for it head first. Never think you are above and most of all, don’t let your “survivor job” help you avoid the craziness. When I say craziness, I am referring to the auditions, classes, and research you should be committing yourself to on a daily basis. This is very important. You mustn’t get so overwhelmed that you back off. You must move forward, and eventually, you find a healthy pace that won’t drive you up the wall. You have to remember that your art comes first. Then you have to find a way for the lame things like a survivor job come in. The goal is for the survivor job to not get in the way. This is a huge and common problem for people when they first move to New York. They get here and say, “I need to get a job and once I feel comfortable with that, I will start auditioning.” You know that usually becomes the priority and the performer fails to do anything with the pursuit of his or her craft. It is hard to find the perfect balance, but if you constantly pursue it, you will find your way in all the craziness.

You have heard me talking about the importance of goals. Writing them out is the best way to gain more focus. I have decided to share with you my goals for 2008 and how I write it out. If you notice, the goals are very possible and not overwhelming … which means I will achieve my goals!

GOALS FOR 2008

Work as the lead in musical theatre shows.
a. Showcase my best work at auditions.
b. Present a resume that makes me good for roles.
c. Grow in stage confidence and take risks.
d. Believe in myself.
e. Surround self with supportive people.
f. Get video of every role and send video to previous employers.
g. Give it to G-d when I’m on stage.
h. See shows when get the chance.
i. Give out appropriate headshot.
j. Keep in touch with theatres who want me for leading roles.
2) Record and work on Kennedy Music
a. Make appointments with Craig
b. Take my time in the recording studio.
c. Practice songs and blocking.
d. Memorize lyrics and licks.
e. Find a person who can make guitar sheet music.
f. Pay person to make sheet music and set date to have done.
g. Connect with guitarist on craigslist to write music.
h. Get involved with ejamming.com. Learn how to use it.
i. Make it possible for people to buy newly recorded songs on myspace.
j. Set out time to write/work on music.
3) Grow in healthy and spiritual life
a. Be on time for sponsor.
b. Always have a variety of vegetables.
c. Get enough sleep/embrace napping.
d. Go for calming walks.
e. Yoga – 5 times per week.
f. Cardio – 3 times per week.
g. Meditate once per day.
h. Give 2 hours to digest before anything.
i. Stay available for sponsees.
j. Regularly take calcium, zinc, acid reflux pills, and do neti-pot.
4) Get serious boyfriend/Possible Husband
a. Dress nicely.
b. Embrace who I am.
c. Stick to what I want in a man.
d. Be myself.
e. Be fully available.
f. Show if interested.
g. Let guy make the first move.
h. Let the guy chase.
i. Communicate.
j. Believe it will happen.
5) Get Online/Work at Home Job
a. Research daily on craigslist and submit.
b. Update profile on monster.com & keep up with submissions.
c. Update profile on linkedin.com & keep up with connections.
d. Find out what apple.com has to offer – go to NY office.
e. Find publisher list online.
f. Contact publishers for books on tape work.
g. Bring up my search to others.
h. Contact ad agencies for voiceover work.
i. Keep up with possible writing jobs.
j. Organize and keep track of findings/follow-ups.
6) Successful Self Promotion
a. Sending holiday cards to previous employers.
b. Keep website updated.
c. Send footage of latest performance to previous/interested theatres.
d. Always have business cards on hand.
e. Make auditions a priority.
f. Look my best/right for the part at auditions.
g. Do research on shows auditions for & the theatres auditioning for …
h. Send postcards to theatre after audition.
i. Get new postcards.
j. Email friends in the business with the latest project.
7) Find a hometown that works with my goals.
a. Research New York beaches.
b. Find home-for-sale websites.
c. Research methods of transportation to New York.
d. Research timeshares in Key West, Cali, Hawaii, Bermuda.
e. Organize and record findings.
f. Research dance clubs in the area.
g. Research yoga, waxing salons, and gyms.
h. Research dance classes.
i. Research community activities and things to do.
j. Research temples, coffee shops, and stores in the area.
Grow as a Performer
a. Learn Italian Dialect.
b. Continue voice therapy.
c. Find acting coach.
d. Memorize new monologues.
e. Work with acting coach.
f. Regularly rehearse new/old songs.
g. Take house dance classes/go out dancing with friends.
h. Confidently give my best audition all the time.
i. Learn from fellow performers by listening and watching.
j. Let myself have down time in order to be able to fully commit to performance.

9) Maintain Finances
a. Learn how to use Quicken
b. Use quicken regularly
c. Keep organized with tax- deductibles for taxes.
d. Learn to type numbers faster.
e. Get new folder for 2008 finances & new book.
f. Organize closet with tax stuff from the years.
g. Learn to negotiate from Sam Brown’s Notes and other resources.
h. Do turbo tax in February/March and send out.
i. Find out information on bond from grandma.
j. Organize bills on calendar & create alarms.
10) Finish Book
a. Type up interview answers.
b. Interview 16 – 20 more people.
c. Map out section on self promotion.
d. Map out section on prayer/meditation/walk/journal/visualization.
e. Organize chapters.
f. Upload interviews onto computer and format to mp3s.
g. Research on how to publish/who to publish with …
h. Have friends read it and critique – what can be cut/what doesn’t make sense?
i. Set-up writing schedule and commit.
j. Make list of people to interview and make appointments.

It may seem a bit overwhelming at first, but I put a lot of time and thought into the goals in order for it to truly be possible.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

This topic is just plain awful. It is so difficult to find the health insurance I need as a vocalist. It all boils down to the ENT (ear, nose, and throat doctor). I have to see an ENT on a regular basis. Not everyday, but at least once every few months. It cost $550.00 for a single visit. That is a lot of money - especially for a working theatrical performer. We get paid so little and it is very difficult to get the medical coverage we desperately need.
Acid reflux is very common for singers. As you know, I have made that discovery and taken care of things. Now I see the importance of seeing an ENT on a regular basis.
I am stressing out right now because I still have yet to find the insurance I need in order to be able to afford going to a voice lesson on a regular basis. Performing is so important to me. It is hard to make ends meet. I have been lucky and blessed to have lasted this long. Now I have to find my solution. Any ideas or suggestions on great medical coverages?

I don’t believe in New Years Resolutions. I believe in setting goals. Goals that move towards achieving your dream. I believe in writing ten goals per year. Then I write 10 realistic and possible baby steps for each goal that would make my movement forward possible. I have already written my goals for next year and I am super excited. Why? Because when I look at the goals I have written for last year, I have achieved so much. I learned so much. I have grown so much. It is not luck, it is the pursuit. Because I organized myself at the top of the year, I had a direction. For example, one of my biggest goals was to work regularly throughout the year in musical theatre. And look … I have been working regularly. In my baby steps towards this goal, I set out to audition as much as possible, submit myself to theatres regularly, and make sure I work and fully rehearse my audition materials. Well, I have been giving out my best and it feels fantastic! I love it!
To many people, writing out goals sounds like extra work. Honestly, it is such a great thing. Once writing the goals, keep them available so you can check in with yourself and see where you may have slightly changed your goal. You may not want to do just any musical theatre job and would like to make the choice of taking only leading roles. Who knows? But when you get that extra focus, it is impossible to not move forward.

Yep. I am writing a book. It is about the life of nonunion performers. I find it interesting, enlightening, and inspiring as I interview people for the book. A person can learn so much from everyone. Through this interview process, I have grown so much as a performer. The art of listening has proven to be a vital source for growth as an artist. There are so few people in this world who really now how to listen. If you really think about it, all people really want is to be understood. Like many people, I have been too concerned with trying to get other people to understand and I forget to give others the respect to take out the time to fully understand them.
Since making this discovering, I have found myself doing more than just listening. I am making a point to truly understand other people’s worlds. We all see the world differently and I believe it is important to comprehend each person’s vision. That way, it will enable to me to respect boundaries and be a better part of a team in an ensemble.

If you don’t know, I am Jewish. This is not my holiday. There are many different people with many different backgrounds. A good amount does not celebrate anything on Christmas. I am one of them.

Let me tell ya, if you are a performer and you don’t celebrate this holiday, this is not a time to be depressed. On the contrary, this is a great time to have a day off. Think about it. Every store is closed, so you don’t have anywhere to go. You have food stocked up because all the restaurants are closed. If you do want to be lazy and eat out, you can order chinese and many of them deliver.
This is the perfect day for relaxation and all performers deserve it at this time of year. We work so hard when we do or don’t have a gig. We know how to work hard and that is exactly what we do. Most of our jobs are temporary and the ability to make a lot of money at this time of year is easy. High demand. If you are in a show, most of us do at least two shows per day - in the nonunion theatres. If you are on Broadway, you don’t have today off. You are on that stage smiling away and inspiring others.
For me, it is a relaxing day. I am in a show and get today completely off because the people in this area would not come. I am grateful to the low demand in Lancaster, PA on Christmas day.
Merry Xmas! Happy Channukah! … Happy Holidays!!!!

This is a perfect example of how a live can performance can influence people so much more than words. Enjoy the songs (the audio is not in sync with the video, but it still sounds beautiful).

This story below is a secluded incident of some of the unfortunate “dramatic” b.s. things that can happen when you work in a cast.

Man, I was a victim of pure cruelty. If you ever get a chance to know me, you would know that I don’t have any bad intentions. I will make mistakes and sometimes offend people, but I always make it right through apology and learning what I did wrong. I wish I could say that I always do the right thing, but then that would be a lie. Do I do the wrong thing on purpose? Absolutely not.
Yesterday, a friend in the cast was talking about her newly engaged friend’s diamond ring. Automatically, I asked if the ring was “blood free.” Let me explain before I go further. If you have seen the movie, “Blood Diamond,” you will know exactly what I am talking about - it is a highly serious issue on how diamonds are found and brought to the US. The movie, though fictional, revealed the reality of how many deaths occur during this process. It was gory and a true awakening for me. At the end of the movie, a solution to this horrifying problem was provided - when buying an engagement ring, make sure your diamond is blood free.
I am not a huge activist. I don’t have to be. This hit me hard. No diamond is worth a single life. So, when someone has mentioned a diamond ring, I bring it up. I don’t expect everyone to know what I am talking about, but then they will learn and hopefully I will save some lives. Not directly, no, but in this situation, everything matters. That is my strong belief.
It did not occur to me how offensive this could be to someone who has already gotten a ring. Luckily, in this situation, the person who had the ring was not there. Another girl in the same dressing room, automatically got annoyed with my lack of consideration. Although my mistake was not her business, she made it her business … but that’s another story.
I was meant to learn from my mistake. In this girls pissed off way (she gets annoyed with anyone who has an apposing opinion), she stated how wrong I was …. I got it. The one thing I will always disagree with is not informing a person about the importance of requesting a blood free diamond before they get a ring. This girl made it obvious that me talking about it could be taken offense to … I get it. To me, it is worth the risk of getting someone mad at me in order to eventually, and hopefully, completely end the industry of blood diamonds.
In the end, I saw both sides. I just knew and still know what was more important to me. In this situation, you have to agree to disagree (which is unfortunately not in the girls blood - pun intended).
I thought that was it. A private disagreement. We’d have to go into our silent, angry places and get over it. That’s what I did. I apologized to my friend, the one who I was initially talking to about the diamond thing, in case I offended her. She assured me I didn’t, but I was happy to get the apology in just in case. I thought that what it. We’d have to deal with it.
This is when people can be so cruel.
No. I had not spoken to anyone about it. Went onstage for a scene where I have a small cameo. After I receive a gift, a fellow actor who was not even there for the conversation said under his breath, “make sure its blood free,” obviously done to mock me. I completely forgot I was on stage and gave the person a death glare as I felt his comment dig me in the heart. I was so hurt. It was a joke at my expense. I suddenly felt completely attacked because I was … I left the stage, quickly changed costumes and went to the bathroom in another dressing room so I could cry. I must mention that when I came into the other room, it was obvious this girl was in that room talking about me. Well, she was at the beginning stages and I accidently interrupted her. I did not realize this was a “convince everyone to take someone’s side thing.” Childish and cruel. That is what this girl was chosing to do. I have close friends in the cast and they did not know a thing. I figured it was between me and this girl. I am not a gossip.
I was in the dressing room with another girl just before the final number of the show and the tears just started streaming out. Why was it necessary to go so far? Was the intention to pick at me and make me look and feel absolutely horrible? Mission accomplished.
Like I said, I don’t have bad intentions and after reading this, even if you disagree with my standpoint, you will still know that I don’t have bad intentions. I am aiming for the good. But what happened to me after this … let me put it this way. What was this other girls intention? Good or bad? Is going around and telling people of her annoyance with me a good or bad intention? Because honestly, I don’t see how she was trying to do any good.
How are things now. Well, that was our first show. I had time to recoup and gather myself to “get happy” again for the evening show. I did not know how to be in the dressing room, so I gave it to my higher power before I walked in. The girl who hurt me, chose to talk to me as though nothing happened. I joked back and covered my hurt. No apology for her actions. That’s her choice and my expectation. The person who chose to take that verbal stab at me onstage, I could not look at him. I did not trust that he would not take another stab at me again. Have you ever been around someone and even if there is silence, you feel awful about yourself. That’s how I was feeling. We had a Christmas Cast Party that night - I had to leave briefly to give myself a chance to cry again. It’s one thing to act happy onstage, but in real life, it is hard. I was really hurt and felt awful. I needed a chance to let it out again in order to collect myself.
Everyone makes mistakes. I made one. I learned and fixed it to the best of my ability by apologizing. I have learned from my mistake and will only talk to someone about the issue before a diamond ring is purchased. Done.
Is it necessary to flaunt and mock my mistake with the masses?

If you are in a cast, there is a good chance you are playing Secret Santa. I love this game. I am Jewish and it is fun to be a part of the fun cause honestly, on Christmas - it is a boring day. So, now I have my final gift for my Secret Santa and I am so excited to get this her. I will be sure to add the singing I did at the cabaret tonight as well. It is an a capella version of “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” It may not be what I celebrate, but it does not stop me from loving the music.
It is a shame, but there are always some people who don’t play the game. I love it when the entire cast has fun doing something together. But I also understand, that not everyone has to do it and everyone has his/her reason. For me, Secret Santa is fun because I love giving the gifts. I love making a person smile and get excited about the gift. I feel like I get more out of giving. Do you?

It is hard to always make a true, friend connection with everyone in a show. I like to go into a new cast with the hopes of getting close to someone. For me, ti doesn’t always happen, but when it does, ti is truly amazing. I always find myself pushing for friendships at he beginning of a contract. I try not to, but for me, subtle is not my forte. I had the chance to spend time with one of those rare, wonderful friends today. it was so good to be around him. I feel so comfortable and sage. Definitely endless support. It’s a great thing. It makes me feel secure to be myself. You know how judgmental fellow performers can be? They can be so cruel, which is totally hypocritical considering how sensitive we all are … With this friend, I am never judged. We’re there to celebrate each other. Why can’t we all get along like this? Maybe some people find a need to find people they dislike in order to differentiate the people they do like … ? Who knows? The only person I can change is myself so I’ll focus on that.

Yes. Absolutely.
… well, no one should ever make a point to goof off, but many performers do. I was doing a show (Cinderella) recently where a cast member mad ethe choice to deliver a line in an awkwardly funny way. It got all fo us to break onstage. I held it together quite well - I don’t know how cause t was really funny. It caused the next several lines (delivered by other Cinderella and the Stepmother) to be completely out of character. They were laughing!
In film, the director would just say “cut,” but this is live theatre. We had to go on with the show. No ability to edit with the audience right there. It would have been a great blooper. This is not film, so it is kind of pointless to compare.
Since this was a kids show, we had autographs afterwards. It sucked to have people ask us what was so funny. I felt completely unprofessional. Yes, I may have held myself together pretty well, but I do not cover a whole cast. … and it takes only one person to bring down a show. This may be a strong opinion, but I truly believe it.
Obviously, I am not in favor of making choices to cause people to lose focus on stage. I like to stay in the scene. Isn’t the show fun enough? Why else would I be here? I don’t come to do a show to find ways to mess around. There is no need. I already love what I do, so why mess with it?