How can you do it? I would say it is doing your best, but I don’t feel some people really know how to do their best. I have to work on it all the time. I learn from so many people in every freakin gig I do. Even today, I was able to watch some actors make some character choices I would have never imagined. I am loving my time in this rehearsal process because I feel my best is being noticed. There have been times when I am working my butt off and I find myself stuck in the back, in the balcony, and I don’t understand why. But the past doesn’t matter. What matters is the now. Now I am in front of people and I am in the front and getting fun, small dance bits that I love. I have an uninhibited dance partner who really loves to “go for it” just as much as I do. I love it! Here I am, standing out, and it feels so freakin good!
This is a social job. It is a great place to meet other people and make new friends, new connections, etc. I have been lucky to have made some great friends at some of my gigs. Sometimes, however, I may not really connect with others in my cast. It is unfortunate. It doesn’t mean that one person is a bad person or anything of that nature. If you do find yourself in a situation where you just are not connecting with others, take advantage of having that alone time. You could always make a point to connect with your friends you have not been in touch with for awhile. But even better, I suggest that you go for some quality alone time. It will be good for you. It is the best way for you to center yourself and in many ways, you will have just as much fun. What do i do for myself? I love to catch up on a book or buy cards to mail to friends. Actually writing a card and mailing a card to a friend you have not seen in a long time is cathartic and rewarding.
I am totally overwhelmed along with the rest of the cast. On our first day, a lot of music was thrown on us. Today, we learned 5 more songs. I did not realize there was so much ensemble singing in this show. It is really putting me to the test with my learning skills. I went ahead this evening to review my music, but there is a point when it can be just so overwhelming. I have reviewed all but three songs. This is the first time I have ever had to walk away from my practicing because I just can’t look at the sheet music. My sight is blurry due to my exhaustion. I guess I’ll head to bed early today. My workaholic side has a hard time embracing the fact that my brain needs to rest. I hope to do this for myself. Sleep will be a very good thing for me right now.
I have woken up at crazy hours in order to travel from one gig to another. We don’t get first class in this industry. I was on tour with a musical for one month. The contract, though short, was rough because they had us in a different town everyday. We’d get to one town a couple hours before our call - time at the theatre, do a show, and then wake up early (meaning around 5am) the next day to hop on the bus to travel to the next venue. It sucked. Everyone made the most of it including myself. The hard part for me was when the gig ended. I had rehearsals for my next gig starting the next day in New York. We were scheduled to take an evening flight, which was very delayed. I remember sleeping on the ground in the airport along with many other fellow cast members. We couldn’t do anything about it … only wait. I’m sure there were many people who had hoped to even get the gig. It was rough.
Right now, I am in the process of my travel to my next gig. I finished choreographing a piece in California last night and now I am “en route” to Lancaster, PA. I am flying directly to New York to have two hours to get things I need. I have a list of exactly what needs to be done … absolutely. I don’t have time to mess around. I will be arriving in Lancaster, PA at 9:40pm to pass out and wake up in the morning for my first rehearsal.
If you expected this to be a life of luxury, you could not be more wrong. It is driven by your passion and love for your craft. That is why you do it. Who knows? You could eventually start making the big bucks, but it is a long journey to get there.
If you want your success in the business to really happen, you have to believe. No, don’t just say you believe. You have to see yourself doing it … and in seeing yourself on that enormous stage, feeling the heat from the spotlight, and hearing the thunderous applause, only makes your dream even more real. It will happen for you if you really see it and believe it. Visualizing is key. Some don’t follow it, but if you really want something to happen for you, why not? Imagining being at the peak of your career to the best of your ability will only bring a smile to your face. As you take steps that get you closer to your dream, it will work out for you. You have to have faith. Try it. Sit down in a quiet room alone. Close your eyes and really focus on what you want exactly. If you are having trouble, turn on a song you want to sing in that moment or throw on an outfit that makes you look fantastic that you could wear to the Tonys (naturally you would be wearing a designer outfit, but your clothes will do for now). Take your bow and let yourself hold the weight of your award. Let yourself see your family and friends in the audience. Take it all in while you sit in that quiet room. And one day you won’t have to be in that quiet room because you will actually be where you had always dreamed …
Loving my life. I am LOVING my life. I have been loving it more and more as time passes. Do you love your life? Everything I have experienced has made me who I am now. I would not change a thing. Though not all experiences proved positive in the end, I know the beneficial outcome of these obstacles. There are still a few things in my happiness that I need to accept about myself and I am working on it by focusing on all the good in my life. “To build a self esteem, do estimable things.” That’s what I have been doing for a long time and it has made such a difference. When I smile, it’s because I am really feeling the joy from my life. Auditioning has become a much better experience. I actually really look forward to auditioning because it is another performance for me. There is so much heart that I put in my job and it is worth it despite any struggle. I love what I do good or bad. This love has come from my passion and keeps me going in the business. I do know of people who have not stuck with it, but I cannot help myself. I love being around who love, doing what I love, and sharing the love. I’m on a roll with the whole love thing, but it feels good to be on cloud 9 and I am going to enjoy it. Do you ever let yourself float on cloud 9 just because you love your life?
Wow. Talk about never knowing when something truly awesome will come my way! I got a call in the middle of “daddy and daughter day” from a producer offering me “All Shook Up” at the Dutch Apple in Lancaster, PA. Isn’t that awesome?! I get to work at a theatre I enjoy, people I enjoy, and still be able to attend United Professional Theatre Auditions in Memphis, TN. I love it! I have to check out plane flights this weekend because I have to move things around now. It is all possible. The insanity is fabulous. I love being on my toes like this and I am so freakin grateful. I have been missing the stage. I’ll have a lot of work to do because I will be understudying the lead, who is played by a wonderful girl who I’ve already had the pleasure of working with in the past. Yay! If you cannot tell, I am so freakin happy. I had no idea this was going to happen, but I had a good feeling that good things were heading in my direction. It was unexpected and I am embracing it full-force.
I want to hold all this freakin stress on my back and it is ridiculous. At this point, it is a bad habit. I have calmed down a lot in the past year, but now when I feel even a little anxious about my career, I have to really focus on letting it go. I want everything and I want it now. The concept of patience is actually a bit on the frustrating side. I don’t want to wait. I am not sitting quietly, true, but we are talking about my dreams. This career in musical theatre means so much to me. When I say “let it go,” I don’t mean let go of my dreams. Absolutely not! What I am referring to is letting go of the unnecessary tension. My shoulders feel like if they don’t hike up, there is a loss of control. I am doing the best I can and my “best” is only getting better. What more could I ask for? I know I am not alone on this strong passion for theatre. When the love for something is so strong, I just care … now I am going to care CALMLY.
Yes, yes, you do want to live in the moment, but don’t let that stop you from planning ahead. That is where you must constantly submit yourself and keep yourself in people’s minds. You could easily keep on working, but have to plan. Auditioning is great, but there is so much more you can do. Let’s focus on one thing - postcards. You go to the audition and then mail a postcard with your face on it thanking them for the opportunity. If you order online with Prints N Charmin, you can get a good deal. I think it is something like 65 dollars for 300 postcards. That’s rockin, right? If you are thinking you don’t have the money, you are fooling yourself. This is coming from one performer to another. I am not making any more money than you at the moment and I have learned how to make it happen. Acck! I am getting off-track. Postcards and planning ahead. This follow-up after an audition helps continuously connect you with a theatre. They are more likely to remember who you are … VERY GOOD. Your audition never stops at the end of the audition. It is always continued. They may not have seen what they needed at the time in you, but you still have talent and will one day “fit the buck.” So keep planning ahead with your ways to continuously connect with a theatre. It is worth the effort.
I am on vacation. It is good to be on vacation. However, I am not used to it. It is hard to not get anything done in a day. That may sound cliche, but it is so true for me. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like not moving forward in my life. I like to follow-through and achieve my dreams. But I do understand the importance of taking time off. It is very important. I like to do something. Is this odd? Am I alone on this one. I am having a great time on this vacation, yes, but there is a huge part of me that wants to keep record of what I am not getting done, so I will have to work even more when the vacation is over. I don’t know what I will end up doing, but I do want to get more things done while I am away from my hard-working element. I know, I know … I am a workaholic. I admit it. EEEk! I need to let myself relax.
If you are working performer, you will be going in and out of shows all the time. Meeting new people and making new friends will be a regular part of your life. But what about the friends you leave behind? Do you really leave them behind? Do you try to keep in touch or do you just move on? I am a huge believer in friendships - meaning that I really put my friends on a high level of importance. When I get close to people. I get really close. The bonds that can be made with other performers are priceless. I have been lucky enough to maintain those bonds. Yes, it takes effort, but it is so important. Who knows when you will see the person, but you are in the same business. … and this business only gets smaller and smaller. Having a reputation for being faithful to your friends only makes you a better person. On top of it, it makes you look like a better person. Let’s face it, this is an industry where appearance matters. It’s not just the way you look. It is what you do. So, take three minutes and write to an old friend. Besides, connecting with a person is just plain fun!
In most cases, you will not get the money you deserve for something you create in the arts. At the moment, I have the honor of choreographing a piece for my old ballet studio. Doing this is so much fun and gives me that wonderful high I can only get from being creative. Seeing what I imagine come to life is an indescribable experience. I am not going to tell you how much I am getting paid, but I will tell you that putting together the piece outside of rehearsal takes a lot of time. Hours on top of hours. I love the work, but I still have no concept of good pay versus low pay. No clue. I don’t have a person I could ask and I have only choreographed when it comes to the same person when it comes to actually being paid. The worst I was ever paid? I will gladly share - it was $100 to choreograph an entire musical. I took the job because I wanted to jump at the opportunity to choreograph a musical. But the result from getting paid so little, I did not put much work into it at all. I was not being paid for my time at all - I was lucky enough if it was covering most of my gas expenses to get to and from the theatre. I do not like putting out bad work. In my head, at the time, I put in my best efforts to create the dances. But now that time has passed, and I can really see the big picture, I can see how I took offense to the low pay and therefore unconsciously pulled back in my efforts so I would not be as offended. It was an automatic way to defend my ego. I am not defending myself at all. It was what it was … which brings me to this question? How hard would you work if you were not getting the money you “should be earning?”
If you travel as much as I do, with gigs and such, it would be in your best interest to learn how to put together a fantastic video audition. Right now, I am in the process of auditioning for anything and everything. The problem? I am not in New York. Currently, I am choreographing in California for the month of January. From all of my video submissions, I have been fortunate to have several theatres interested in hiring me. Some have been interested enough to ask me to send more footage. The most recent requested required a lot of homework. With only three days in New York, I had to race around the city to take advantage of my temporary resources. I went to the Lincoln library in order to be able to read for certain roles and I had to book a last minute private session with an acting coach to get some help with my readings. It was time and money well spent. Why? Because I got the job? No. Because as an artist, I grew. I learned more and explored new things. If I get the job, it will be a definite plus, but for me, most importantly, I was able to grow. Nothing like feeling like a stronger performer.
Here’s the audition I put together. Enjoy!
It is hard to accept others. That is a huge part of this business. You will run into many people whom you don’t have much in common with, but you have no choice but to work closely with these individuals. Tough luck. You need to work with people who may offend you at times. This has happened to me many times. I have had my feelings hurt, cried through it, and then worked hard to keep that smile on my face. I don’t want to add to a negative space. I would rather contribute to a positive space. That is what is important to me.
Besides, though it is easy to get attracted to the negative conversations about those who you cannot accept, it takes more energy. If you spend your day focusing on all the good in your life, you will not be as exhausted by the end of the day. The key is acceptance. You must embrace what you have in the moment. If you’d prefer to be “Debbie Downer,” go right ahead … only keep your distance from me. I’m allergic. But if you insist on being around me, I will celebrate the things I love about you.
Ummm … I am a huge fan of “West Side Story” and you have to see this clip. It is Natalie Wood doing the vocals … before it was dubbed. The insanity! She could be worse… Man, you have to watch this video.
