OMG!
I was working on my songs today and decided to record myself. To me, I sounded like a soprano and it did not sound like a belt sound. So, I recorded myself. I swear, I wanted to cry because I could not have been happier about how things sounded. It sounded exactly the same. It’s insane! It is not fun to admit this, but my vocal teacher in college would try to slam this technique on me in college and I did not trust her advice. I still did what she said, btu if a person is constantly doubting everything that is being taught, it will never really sing in. I thought my teacher was trying to turn me into a soprano and take away my belt. Simultaneously, I did not understand what she was trying to do. Though it was repeated to me by this instructor MANY times, I was not ready for it. I was stubborn. Now I am ready to take it on and it is coming to me so quickly. I think I may aim to use this sound … hmmm … forever! I love it!
I can’t lie - I still hear unsupportive voices in my head. This is a particular voice of a co-worker who I grew to believe did not have any faith in me as a performer. Nothing was confirmed; it was just a feeling in my gut. This person was known to be honest, but also to have tact as well. I think I am pretty good at reading people. In this case, I felt like I lacked the talent as a singer. I felt judged. It did not feel good. I already have the ability to be harsh on myself. Having other critics, especially ones who are talented and in the same business, does not help. There is a part of me that wants to prove myself to this person, btu then I have grown to believe that it is not something to chase after.
The most important thing is me. I have to believe in myself. This is not an easy task. I know I have grown in my self-confidence, but I have so much farther to go. And I will get there.
