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Make Love Not War

by Jenna Kantor


This is soooooo hard to do in a cast. I wish I could say it was always easy and I was always on my best behavior as was everyone else, but that is truly impossible. I do have this one, amazing friend who has the ability to get along with everyone. No joke. It is actually quite amazing to see him easily bounce from group to group. I asked him once - what is your secret? He said that he always seeks to understand people. And when he seeks, he truly understands. It makes sense. People love to be understood. You don’t have to agree, but to be understood - that is the root of it all. So, this is what my dear friend does … and everyone loves him. I am afraid to say that I am not as amazing as him. I do seek to understand, but sometimes, despite my “understanding,” I can sometimes disagree with that individuals choice/stance/opinion so much, that I could possibly dislike the individual. I am an easy girl to read, so the person would be able to easily tell if I did not agree.
Another good thing to recognize is that when you go into a show - you are usually put with most people you have never met before. During the first month, everyone is on their best behavior. … but people can only perform for so long. As another friend said, “After the first month, the masks come off and you know who your true friends are …” Which gets me to thinking - I did work with this one girl who was a great performer off stage. She was so good at being false to people and brown - nosing. I swear, it was like she took lessons from some “mind your manners” book. How did I feel about it? I didn’t like her and I was simultaneously jealous of her schmoozing skills. Overall, I am not a fan of false “niceness.” In general, I like to be honest. If I mess up, I want the opportunity to apologize and I would like the apology to be accepted (but I can’t expect everyone to meet my expectations - I’m not G-d and each person has a right to do what he/she needs to do). Wow, I could really talk about this forever. As usual … your thoughts/experiences?


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