Getting Into Costume
Wearing costumes can be so much fun in my line of work, however, if I gain any weight, I not only see it - everyone else sees it. I often get cast in roles where I wear tight fitting outfits. Several times, my midsection is shown so I put on the pressure to really stay in shape. The funny thing - I already am in shape.
Does this stop me from over evaluating my body and disliking myself? Nope. On a good day, it does, but then I feel this urge to binge (I can always find a new reason to binge). On a bad day, if I feel crappy about myself, the urge usually isn’t there.
I did this one show for Mickey Mouse years ago. I had to wear a mid-drift as one of my roles. I remember practicing and memorizing how to suck in my stomach when I went to greet people so my abs would look the way I preferred. This was awhile ago and I did not have as many ridiculous issues with my body as I do now. Back then, I had a much stronger love for my body. I had a faith that I was going to stay thin and I did. I was not on any kind of diet plan. I just didn’t eat as much crap and new I would stay in shape.
Where did all that confidence go? Lately, when I get into costume, I communicate with the costume designer in such a way so I acknowledge my abusive mind. I make choices that will aid in self love because I am so good at the opposite.
Getting into costume is just not as simple as it used to be.
