Ashamed of Being Jobless
I am not talking about not performing. I am talking about not having a job and not earning an income while I am auditioning for my next gig. This is insane! I feel so on top of things when I call employers on speed dial every time I return to New York. Now that I’m back, the phone numbers are practically useless. It’s horrible! I need the hours and I need the money. I made less than 200 dollars this past month. Got that? 200 dollars! I don’t like taking hand outs and have hidden at home to avoid spending money. Auditioning, voice, and acting lessons are my escape during the week. Otherwise, I am just frustrated and ashamed. I worked so hard to make connections over the years so I would always have an income. That is ten times harder now and I am starting from square one as though I never did all that work in the first place.