Always Auditioning

Man, I just went into training for one of my new survivor jobs - motivational dancing. The job is pretty pimp and easy. You show up at this bat - mitzvah and you get people on the dance floor. You may lead them in some of the dances, eat some of the food (free!), and pass out prizes. It is a high energy gig and that’s perfect for me. Well, today was my second day of training and there was a dancer who really has made the job her life. She is super-involved and cares soooooo much about everything that goes on at a party. She feeds off of being the center of attention. This has become way more than just a job for her. That is fine … as long as she is happy. What scares me about this is that I have been in her spot before with a waaaaaaay worse survivor job - catering. I was totally a “top caterer” with this company. I worked real hard and gained a great reputation. I was working very regularly and had no time for auditions. “I need the money” was my regular excuse to myself. I hardly ever picked up a backstage. If I did make it to an audtion, I was in horrible shape because I was getting hardly any sleep due to my 5am call times for catering. Oh, yes, 5AM. But I was a star worker and I loved being on the top. Luckily, at one of the few auditions I attended, I miraculously got a gig that took me out of the city and away from catering. When I got back to the city, I couldn’t get back into catering with the same focus. I had re-found my love for theatre and couldn’t go back to this dungeon way of living. Today, when I watched and heard this girl “be all that she can be” with her survivor job - I worried a little. I don’t want that to happen to me again. I need to make a living and not get a new life. I like the life I have - thank you very much.

That is so vital whether you are performing in a show or auditioning. I am always working on this skill. Total awareness. Being aware of other people and fully respecting them, as much as I would like to say “I am perfect at this,” is a skill on it’s own.
I was invited to a Rent callback several years ago. I entered this tiny room and belted my head off. The idea was to show off my high notes in a rock song. I did well, but then the auditioners were kind enough to suggest that, in the future, if I was to enter a smaller audition room like the one I was in, to avoid singing that high because it was harsh on the ears. The size of the room was obvious, but I had blocked out that basic awareness of how it may have sounded to others and botched my audition.
Overall, being fully aware of others helps a person be more respectful. Though my intentions are good, I have a crazy, over-the-top, and insanely honest personality. There is no hiding who I am. But this can be either too much or offensive to some people, so I have to learn as I go - in order to know how much of “me” I can actually be.


Personally, I think it is impossible to perfect anything. However, I do think constant striving to be the best you can be in anything is ideal.

This video has nothing to do with the topic, but I thought it was fun.

Eccccccccchhhhhh! I am not a fan of cold reading. Honestly, I have had some great cold readings and then some bad cold readings. Why do I dislike cold readings? I find myself completely dependent on the auditioner. If I don’t feel directed in the scene I am about to read; meaning - if he doesn’t take the time to describe who I am talking to, who I am, where I am, and the scenes journey, I am at a loss. In a cold read, no performer gets much time to sit with the script. Nothing beats a piece you get the time to rehearse and then perform at an audition. Back to cold reading - I am working on becoming a big fan. I am just not at that point yet.
They do give classes on cold readings. There are many ways to practice cold reading on my own. Have I don’t either of these? No. I feel awful admitting it, but the answer is no. I am working on so many other things - my own audition materials take up a lot of my time along with voice lessons, the actual auditions, researching shows … yes, the list totally goes on. If I didn’t have to do a lame “survivor job,” I would be able to work on freakin cold reading. It’s not a closed door. I am taking life a day at a time. For today, I just don’t have the time. Working enough sleep into my schedule has proven to be hard enough. Okay, enough complaining. When I look over what I just wrote, I want to hit myself cause it seems like excuse after excuse. In the end, it is truly how I feel.

Working with a friend on material is brilliant! It is great to always work on material, but a person has to really pick and choose who they are going to work with - you have to feel comfortable. First and foremost, I personally think that is most important. If you are not comfortable being in front of that person, it can be harder for you to take risks. Second, you have to trust the person. You have to have faith in their abilities, naturally, but you also have to trust that they can get you to be the best part of you through their constructive and helpful suggestions that can take you to the next level. For me, comments like “you are acting too much” is not going to get me anywhere with my journey to do better in my monologue or song. That’s why I am working on the darn song in the first place. I am not a finished product and I am there to get there. So, yeah, when a person just sits their and critiques, I won’t get anywhere. You have to give the person exercises and ask them questions to help their mind get somewhere in those moments that aren’t clear. The words constructive criticism didn’t come from anywhere. Last, but not least, the person has to believe in your abilities. If you are working with someone and he/she things you are shit and doesn’t believe in you 100%, how the heck can that individual help you?

I am writing this blog for two reasons - to get you to start working with your friends and to help you find the right people to work with … cause dude, we are a sensitive group of people and many things can derail us. We don’t want to stop our creative selves from having the desire to perform, however, we do want to expose ourselves in a safe environment.

If you can find someone or have someone in your life who supports you indefinitely 100%, you will be amazed about how much further you can sore in your career. It is one thing to be very confident in your own abilities, but when you have someone else who supports you just as much, it is this extra push; this extra belief in your abilities - it really helps.
I have a friend like this. We email each other once per week about anything and everything. The coolest thing about what we share with each other - is that it is based around our goals. We set up a new set of goals every year. These goals give us a fantastic starting point and then we get to see each other learn and grow. We don’t judge each other. Our minds my change about our future goals as time progresses. It doesn’t matter. We both want the best for each other and we both truly believe in each other 100%.
This girl has become my rock. Every day, I feel close to her. She may not be physically by my side, but I honestly feel her support every step of the way.
If you don’t have someone like this in your life, put yourself out there and eventually you will find someone who can give you such strong support. It is worth the time, energy, and emotional roller-coasters. Trust me.

Sleep is soooooooooooo important. It is hard to get enough sleep when you are living in New York. Even if you get your 8 hours, you are literally running around from the moment you wake up to the time you get back to your home. For me, a typical day would start at 7am (the latest). I live out in Queens and I have to give myself enough time to be slow and travel to my first audition. Okay, so let’s get back to a general schedule so you can see my Mon - Fri lifestyle.

6:30 - 7 - wake up, get dressed, grab bags, and go
7 - 8:30 - travel to the city, pick up tea at starbucks, sign-up for auditions, travel to workstudy
8:30 - 9:30 - do workstudy (easy office work) for voice lessons
9:30am - 3:30/4pm - auditions
4pm - 9/10pm - survivor job - catering/babysitting/teaching

That is a typical weekday for me. It is busy and I am still getting used to it. Is there any way to really change it? Not really. If I want to make money yet have my days free for auditions (my whole reason for being here in the first place), then that is what I learned is the best schedule for my goals. Obviously, on some days, I may have a voice lesson in the middle of my audition day … or something else that helps me move forward in my career.

So, do I get enough sleep. Technically, yes, but in the middle of the day, I could really use a nap, but I have no where to sleep unless I want to be like a homeless person.

Sitting is one of those great survivor jobs … but sometimes it can get you in a bit of trouble.

About three years ago, I was a regular for this one family - a single, workaholic mom was raising a boy and a girl on her own. I usually came to watch the kids when they got out of school. As soon as I got them, they had the same routine everyday - dinner, baths, some tv, books, and then bed. They had a rather early bedtime due to their early morning schedule for school. Okay, this is totally not interesting, so I will get to the point. One time I arrived to do an over-nighter and the mother casually told me that her son was feeling a bit sick, but was all better now. I didn’t think it was a big deal … until … I kept waking up throughout the night because I caught the freakin flu from her son!
It was horrible and totally not part of my job. If she had a son who was sick for less than 48 hours, she is supposed to cancel her trip and stay with her kids. A person is not supposed to hand them over to a sitter. What if the sitter gets sick? That is such bull!
So, yes, I do love my babysitting job, however, this can be a major downfall of the job.

As a performer, I have been “always moving” for the past three years. It has been well worth it and it feels incredibly unnatural to be staying at my permanent home in New York for three months before my next gig. So, how have I coped with it? I keep reorganizing, cleaning, and throwing out things in my apartment. I may sit down for a bit, but then I’ll think of something else to do and get up and do it. Now that I am in a permanent home for the time being, I am making it more my own. I’m used to not having the choice on what my room looks like, so I don’t put in much effort. Everything in this apartment is for me. Another funny thing I have been doing is planning in my head what to pack for the next trip. I am a total dork. I even packed my Xmas/Hannukah dvds to bring with me. I’m such a cheese ball. I am just so used to moving all the time. This feels highly unnatural. Ever had this problem or do you remember having a period of adjustment similar to what I am experiencing? I’m feelin a bit insane.

If you keep your eyes wide enough, you will see all the blessings in your own life. Everyone has them. This may be a bold statement to say to someone who is going through something truly rough, but I am choosing to focus on the positive right now. The blessings.
I just learned that my voice lessons (with an amazing teacher) are now going to be “free.” I have been working in my teachers office in exchange for cheaper voice lessons. In other words, instead of it costing 200 dollars, it would have cost around 100 dollars. Well, this is what I thought I was getting from my work … but I was wrong. Somewhere in the communication, I misunderstood. It wasn’t until my first voice lesson back in NY, … when I pulled out my checkbook … I learned that I was working to get the lesson completely for free! I was ready to cry right then. That was going to cost me at least 500 dollars per month … and now that expense is gone. Yes, I am totally putting in the time and working for it, but it is soooooooo worth it! I feel like G-d has come down and kissed me!
Now it’s your turn. Anything like that happened to you recently or in the past. I admit, my example is not so small, but I had to find an excuse to share this amazing venture that is going to help me pursue my dream. Okay … back on topic. Your turn. Tell me of an unexpected blessing you have experienced. Like I said before - it doesn’t matter how larger or how small. A blessing is a blessing.

When a person gets sick, the usual thing to do is take drugs. If you are doing a show, on top of the drugs, you may go so far as trying a bunch of natural/holistic things like swallowing zinc pills, gargling salt water and drinking tea. You may use the drugs for only a day or up to a week. If things continue to worsen, you go to the doctor and pray there is a miracle drug you can take (like antibiotics) to make it go away faster. As you begin to feel better, there may be some healing in your body that takes longer to completely go back to normal, so you choose to do some over - the - counter drugs to help you suffer less during the healing process.
In my case, after antibiotics, as the doctor predicted, it was taking my voice the longest to heal. With all the coughing and nasal drip, my throat was habitually STILL irritating me when it came to bedtime.
So, I did the only thing I knew - I took Nyquil. I’ve been doing it the past four days. It worked, but then it dried me out. My voice teacher wasn’t happy about my dryness. … but it did stop the nasal drip. There are always effects from a drug, so in the end, it really depends on what you prefer. I truly can’t stand nasal drip. As a vocalist, I have only known it to be my worst enemy. I know I have some residual stuff from my allergies, so in time, I will know more of what to do when this happens again. In the meantime, it’s a guessing game.

This is not an easy thing to be. If you are a true, triple threat, you are a strong dancer, actor, and singer. Nothing is better than the other. They are all strong. … this is what I believe. It is not easy keeping everything at the same level. It costs money and takes time. This is something I am always striving to be because it helps me stay employed. The more I am able to do as a performer and the more I grow, the more auditions I can attend and my chances for future employment increases.
At this point in my life, I am very proud of how much I’ve grown as a singer and an actor. I started off as a dancer, but that doesn’t mean it’s my strongest suite anymore. I have worked real hard and continue to work real hard. As I say in most of my blogs, this is what I love to do. I wouldn’t be putting so much time, money, and effort into all of this if it wasn’t the love of my life.
If you are looking for places to train as an actor, singer, or dancer in New York, send me a message and I can connect you with some great teachers.

I have decided to go a little further on the topic of sound healing. You are probably wondering - what does this have to do with auditioning? Auditioning is a very rough process. We are constantly told “thank you” and putting ourselves out there. Pursuing a career on the stage is not an easy lifestyle. That is why people end up in drugs or with a therapist or trying crazy, holistic practices to get back to a healthy and positive mind frame.
Sound healing is one of those weird things you can experiment with - it doesn’t cost a thing and it’s easy to do.

I first experimented with sound healing when I was in Florida earlier this year. I had this awful injury and was a bit depressed. I couldn’t exercise very easily and I had to act like everything was okay. I had to because it was my job. Correction, what I do is more than “just a job.” This is what I truly love to do. I was swimming a lot as a way to keep myself in shape and stay off my feet. Underwater, I would make sounds to express and let out what I was dealing with. If any outsider hurt what sounds I was making, they would have jumped into laughter. But you know what? It helped. Sound healing can do many things. In this situation, it helped me release the tension. It was a way to let out all this negative energy trapped in my body. In the end, I would leave that pool in a lighter, more positive outlook on things. It helped.
I am not an expert on sound healing, but if you are interested, I suggest exploring it a little. It may help you get through some rough times.

Dude, music is everywhere. Even if you are not walking around with your headphones, you will hear it. I believe that inside each person, there is a musician. I am not talking about a high level of talent. Talent has nothing to do with it. We all have our own song that moves to the beat of our hearts.
Try this - go for a walk. Go for a walk where there is no one else around. You don’t want to be distracted or self-conscious - that will ruin the fun. Chant two lines aloud over and over that goes with the pace of your walk. Believe it or not, eventually, you will start singing those two lines. Eventually, your body and mind will find a way to sing those two lines and stick with it - simply cause it feels and sounds good to you.
It’s good to connect with your own song and musical interpretation for words and life in general.

You think what I am talking about is weird? I’ll go a step further, with my video in this blog. This exploration of music (in my mind) leads to sound healing. You can use this music within you as a way to heal things going on within you.

Alright, so I’ve totally “gone off the deep” end for the day, but I’m enjoying this one-sided conversation. If you have any thoughts, let me know. Have a great day!

If you just watched the video above, could you blame me for wanting to be a part of that?
There are simply some fabulous songs in musical theatre for men. It makes me want to be one sometimes. A perfect example of a man show I would love to do and be a man would be “7 Brides for 7 Brothers.” Some people really dislike that musical, but I grew up on it and would love to not only sing the male songs, but dance the famous Michael Kidd choreography.

Then there are songs that have always moved me like “One Song” from Rent. I remember when I first heard the song, I wanted to have a mic in my hand and sing along with him. Those songs that have me singing/humming the tune over and over - many of them are written for men.
Does this mean that I should/could sing a male song for auditions? I wouldn’t suggest it. A huge part of singing at an audition, is also an opportunity to show your voice. The song you choose helps a person figure out your type. They need help with knowing how to cast you and what you present has a lot to do with it.
But man, wouldn’t it be great to sing those songs?