Always Auditioning

I was not what they wanted or what they were looking for at the audition. Man, I had a great audition too. I was more ashamed coming out of the audition room. With the people they liked, they were asked to read sides for the show. I was not asked to do anything. Instead, I was told “thank you.” A sign that they are not interested and my audition is over. So depressing. I wanted to cry because I put a lot of energy and hopes into this show. I wanted it so badly that I really could taste it. … and I didn’t get it. The tears welled up in my eyes as I got dressed back into my regular clothes. I started my 2 1/2 hour drive back home and passed a mall. Retail therapy time! I got a new audition dress and felt a lot better. Good call. As time has passed, I am still sad about not getting the great opportunity, but I am still moving on and forward in my career. Nothing can stop me.

So, here I am at the audition and I am early. An hour early. To me, for an audition, that is running late. Usually, there is a LONG LINE to sign up. Here in Evanston, Illinois, there is anything but a long line. Crazy, right? There are two other actors and they both just decided to go for a walk. I, on the other hand, decided to stick it out and write a little blog. The casting people are already here - another shock to me. I am used to them arriving just on time (well, that’s what I’ve usually seen happen in New York). So, here I am and I am in utter shock at how empty this audition is. I know they have appointments for performers throughout the day, but it is hard for me to believe that practically no one has arrived. This is a Fanny Brice musical! This is huge! Why would someone not show up for this great opportunity. It’s interesting to see what the people look like who will be watching the audition. I am really excited to show them my performance. Technically, it’s an audition with me performing a monologue and a song. Here I am! I am really happy to be here and to have this opportunity to perform. I have my dress and make-up all ready-to-go. Good times. My acting teacher would be very proud of how I am feeling at this moment. It is truly organic and I am just in it to win it right now. Now that I am starting to understand how I can do no wrong and only have a fun time at my audition, I feel ready to just jump right into it. I love what I do!

Here’s a clip from something you may recognize where a person is dealing with nerves …

I am super excited for a big audition tomorrow. I think I mentioned it before. It’s in Evanston, Illinois for a new production about the fabulous Fanny Brice. It is an equity call, so I do risk the chance of not being scene, but it’s a role I have always dreamed of, so it is worth it. I’ve been getting all of my last minutes together and I’m getting more excited about the whole thing. My monologue goes straight into my song. It’s a bold monologue and I simply cannot wait to do it. It truly is a fun performance I get to do at auditions. I have fun things planned for myself afterwards, but first things first - the audition. Oh, man. This is going to be so exciting! I am in the process of calming myself down. If I don’t get much sleep tonight, so be it. This ebullience is overwhelming. Wish me luck!

Once again, I am going to reiterate that I am not a fan of counting down a show. I don’t know when my next show will be, so I want to cherish every moment I have on that stage. I may be exhausted when I am off stage, but once I am out there, it’s like everything is fine. It’s such a relief to be on that wonderful stage and get to sing music I enjoy. I love interacting with all the talented and loving people. It’s great to look into another person’s eyes and see that he/she is right there with me. There is no wrong as long as it’s in the context in the show. As an actor, that is forever attractive to me. After this show, those interactions come to a close. That is sad to me. I do hope to work with many of these people again. I feel very lucky and blessed to have this final week coming up to do “High School Musical.”

This is something that happens all the time in the industry. It’s impossible to avoid. I have definitely been one to be a part of it. We’ve all done it even if we’d like to think we don’t. The worst end of it is being the victim. I always feel badly about the person who’s getting talked about - if they hear about it. There’s this feeling of alone-ness that comes over me when I hear of awful things said about it. … and there is no escaping if you are living in the same house with these people. It’s funny. As I write this, you are probably wondering - did this just happen to Jenna? Duh. Totally has. I have my good friends here to lean on and talk about it. It really wasn’t such a horrible thing to learn, but I am a person who analyzes the crap out of things. Many of us go through this and it’s good to know you are not alone. That is why I am writing this. We all end up at the shit end of the stick sometimes. I just make sure that I appreciate it when things are going well so much more because of the rough times.

When I heard the news this afternoon, it was my instinct to go into denial. Michael Jackson was rushed to the hospital? He couldn’t be dead. He’s Michael Jackson. He will have more time on this earth. Unfortunately, my assumption was wrong.

Thank the lord I am Martha Cox. I was able to throw in a few dance moves in this evenings show in tribute to Michael Jackson. I remember growing up and watching all of his movies. Captain E-O was a big attraction at a theme park. I was all over that as a child. Sure, there is no doubt that he has his issues with the media. It does not change the fact that he is a huge icon in this industry. I am really sad about the lost and hope people continue to be forever inspired by this artist.

A few poor performers in my cast are struggling vocally. This is a tough thing and my heart sincerely goes out to them. It can be so frustrating when you feel like you are doing everything you can and the odds just seem to continue to go against you. The times I have struggled vocally, that is exactly what I did.
If you are someone reading this who has gone through or is going through some vocal bull, just know that you are not alone. Talented, working artists have to deal with these things all the time. We work through them or sometimes are forced to take some time off to prevent any permanent damage.
No matter what, don’t ask for other opinions. Be true with yourself and you will know what to do to get yourself back to health.

I had one of those amazing days with three of my fellow cast members on Monday. We did a trip to Noah’s Ark (waterpark) in Wisconsin and had the time of our life. We all had such a blast experiencing the adventure of each waterslide. We threw caution to the wind and did thinks that scared us. We ate the yummy junk food the park had to offer. It was a day of laughter and good conversations. I felt we were patient with each other and fully ourselves. The underlying thing we shared (and I know this sounds cheesy) was love. That’s what we had throughout the day even though some of us are still getting to know each other. It was a quick bonding event and I loved every moment. This kind of thing doesn’t happen everyday. I am forever grateful for the experience.

I spend most of my money for this business. In many ways, I do not or barely make enough back that covers all of those expenses. I don’t think people realize the costs of being a performer. It’s not just paying for headshots and resume copies. Using a computer costs money - either you own one or you have to pay for the time to use one. Having a website is becoming the standard along with business cards. … and there are postcards as well - for the common follow-up after an audition or to give an update to a theatre. You have to market yourself to the best of your ability and it costs money. There are many performers who don’t market themselves. That works for them and they do work … but they know they could work even more if they promoted themselves. It’s true. I wanted to quickly blog about this to bring up this particular journey of expenses any performer will undoubtedly experience if they go for their dreams full force.

This is something that does happen sometimes. We are all human. … but in my opinion, there are two different kinds of intentions: on purpose … or not. I am not a fan of the breaking that happens on purpose. I am not on stage looking to cause the next laugh or something to laugh at. I am there to do my job. If I break, I evaluate what happened and come up with a solution to hold myself together if it comes up again. I don’t look for the next thing. I am not bored. I am doing a show. I am doing my job. I apologize if this offends anyone. I have friends who do this and I love them very much. It doesn’t mean I agree with their choice. Each person has a right to his or her own opinion/fun. I understand, but it doesn’t mean that I respect, agree, or like it.

Below is a video I found on youtube where a talented performer breaks on stage. It works in his show, but in a musical … not so much:

Missing an audition is not a good thing. i understand that we can always come up with a good reason to miss an audition. Anytime I miss an audition, I evaluate what made me miss it and make sure I do not have the same conflict again.
Because of “conflicts” over the years, I didn’t attend a single open call for “Fiddler on the Roof” until this year - 2009. Sad, right? No, it is more than sad - it is detrimental to my freakin career. It is my job to be at those auditions.
I am writing this now because I will be heading back to New York soon and I want to take full advantage of my opportunities out there. I want to show up to the right calls and kick some ass. I want to have my choice of jobs from all the hard work I have and continue to put into as an artist. I am always in class and growing every day. It is a true blessing.
So, no excuses. My butt needs to get out there when I have the chance.
Auditions will be slow this summer - as they always are. With that in mind, there are usually less people going to auditions at that time because they put all their energy in their survivor jobs. It is good and important to have an income. I want an income - through performing.
If I don’t go to auditions, they will keep happening and other people will get the jobs. Period. I can’t expect the world to stop for me just because I don’t have my crap together.

I was so thrilled to see the stars who were in this concert on PBS last night. Menzel looked absolutely fabulous in her all - black first act outfit and in the second act, she wore this fabulous dress I wanted to steal. The voices were beautiful, no doubt. Adam looked hot as usual, so that was nice to drool over for a bit. The dancers had great technique and it was fun to see how they utilized the dancers for this concert.
I learned that “Chess” is not a great musical. The music may have some great moments, but it gets quickly monotonous because the story line is not interesting. In my opinion, the show was just about people competing in the high ranks of chess. There was drama behind the scenes, but I didn’t catch on because I kept spacing out. I wasn’t doing it on purpose. I just was not captivated by anything in particular that would keep me drawn in for the 2 - 3 hour saga. Yes, I do not know the complete run time of the show because I was not able to finish watching it. It was boring, sorry.
I do think it is important to be exposed to a lot of shows especially since I am in the business, but dude, this one couldn’t keep me awake. Once again, sorry.

I know, I know, it is about time that I wrote something about this unexpected piece of talent. I love how she has a look that automatically fills everyone with doubt. She opens her mouth and sings with this indescribable star quality. I am grateful to this woman. She has become someone who has opened doors for others. It is possible to turn heads even if you do not have the right look. People may judge books by the cover, but they can change their minds as well. Susan has turned heads 180 degrees. I do hope she continues to have a successful career in theatre. She could even tour with her own, one-woman show. People would go. Heck, I would go. Even though she did not win a competition, she is someone to be remembered and I could only hope to see on the stage many times in the future.

Not too long ago, I had revealed that I learned of the “Oz, The Musical” tour closing sooner than planned. Well, I finally found out the dirt. The show itself was a beautiful show. It had the talent and commitment of the actors. The cast loved what they were doing. The show was doing very well in the first leg of the tour. The economy was not having a bad effect on the shows success.
The producers, however, just didn’t have a clue on what they were doing. It was as though they thought, “Hey, we have money. Why don’t we put up a show?” They were throwing money all over the place and eventually funds began to run out. To try to fix things, they cut the tour in two halves to get their funds in order. When the tour went back up, they could no longer to have any union performers … and eventually did not have enough money to keep the show running altogether. So sad and frustrating. Now that the cast is out of work, they are still waiting to get paid for their last two weeks of work! How terrible!
… talk about the wrong way to put up … and end a show …

“High School Musical!” was whispered amongst some kids at the Aquatic Center today when the majority of the cast arrived on a day off. We didn’t all hear it, but it was said and I loved it.
I thought it was funny how the entire cast was thrilled when there was 20 minutes of adult swim. All the kids had to evacuate the pool. All the screaming ended and we could actually hear the song “Tears In Heaven” playing as we did random hand stands, laps, and floating in the pool.
This trip was specifically great for me because I got to have some extra time with other people in the cast. Good people.
And the aquatic center? It was fabulous! Who knew that such cool place would be in Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin?